Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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