So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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