So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
