I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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