i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
