addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
