Plan B is the new Plan A
i think my tv is drunk
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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