Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Life is so much better after having sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
