i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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