I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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