your parents love me but you hate me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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