I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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