I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All I want is dick and wine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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