you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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