Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
