Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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