This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
