This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
