halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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