hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
