I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
