I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
