I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
