I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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