I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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