Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize