is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
