i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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