i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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