I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
