I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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