Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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