I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
