I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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