Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
