pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I forget how to act sober
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