operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize