my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
