That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We left the knife in your bed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
