Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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