my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize