Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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