like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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