We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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