My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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