Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize