it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Please don't give away my fajitas
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
