If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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