Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
