you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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