you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hello my rib-scented angel!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
