The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.