And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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