She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
