Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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