I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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