Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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