Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
